The Girl who was Sucked into a Toilet (her story)
by Jedi Knights Who Say Ni
Summary: Well, she gets sucked into a toilet, lands in LOTR and basically counteracts every insertion story by actually acting as her normal 21st century self and not being all oogly over every guy in the story.


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or scenes or anything except the fundamental nature of Nimue, but I do not even own her name because I got that out of another very unknown book, but yea, enjoy my insane-ness!  
  
One day, while examining her overflowing toilet, Nimue, the most oddly named girl in the entire universe, got sucked in. She had heard about these kinds of crazy things happening all around the world where girls got sucked into things and never seen again. She did not expect to land where she ended up, in the LOTR storyline. After having read the books a while back Nimue had decided that Rohan was her favorite place because it was like horse land and she adored horses. Well, guess where she found herself, in a forest, which she hoped, was Rohan. She soon found out that her assumptions and hopes were right because just hen she felt an arrow aimed at her back. She turned around slowly and held a shocked look on her face. She stood like that for a long while until the man slowly put down his bow and arrow and poked her gently on the shoulder. He prodded her many times until she snapped out of it, but not completely. She stroked his face with her hand all the while with a benign yet possessive look on her face. She knew exactly who it was since she had seen the trailer for the Two Towers and she found Eomer hotter in person than on screen. It obviously creeped him out because he slapped her. She then got infuriated and being the 21st century woman she was she kicked him in the balls and while he lay on the ground writhing inn unimaginable pain, she kicked him in the ribs and exclaimed "Haven't you ever heard don't hit a lady!"  
  
She promptly took every weapon on his body, even the knife concealed in his pants (tee hee) and she kept them for herself. She started to walk down the obvious path he had made getting there so if he was trying to be hidden or secretive, he hadn't done a peachy job in the least. He hobbled after her still clutching his groin and mumbled under his breath something about her abnormally large buttocks. She turned around.  
  
"Excuuuuuuuuuse me! My butt happens to be quite delectable if I might say so myself and you seem to be the only one with a problem with it."  
  
She then kicked him in the balls again and continued on.  
  
They then reached the palace of Rohan. She was stunned at the appearance of the golden castle (as described in the books). She was so stunned that she actually went temporarily blind and stumbled around for a while until Eomer caught up with her, while still rubbing his sore groin.  
  
"This is the Palace of Rohan, and you have stumbled into our woods," he said, "they will certainly not let you in with all those weapons"  
  
"Actually, it is more likely that they will let me in with all these weapons." She glanced at him with a smug smirk on her face and walked off.  
  
"you guys probably don't have metal detectors I'm guessing so they wont even know, unlike those damn airports."  
  
He looked at her quite stumped. She kicked him again and walked onto the premises. Luckily for her no one had seen her just kick the King's nephew in the balls so they let him and her in just fine.  
  
As she walked into the courtyard of the castle, she picked up a piece of bread from a vendor and tossed him a quarter from her pocket. The vendor bit the quarter, looked at it quite bewildered and then ate it. He began to choke so she ran back and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. The vendor then ate the quarter again with no problems this time. She just smiled and backed away slowly.  
  
As they walked into the castle, she could feel Eomer scanning her up and down wondering what in the hell she was wearing. She had her blue jeans on, a sharka Hawaiian t-shirt and over that and Pale Yellow turtle sweatshirt. He was most interested in her black and silver sketchers shoes. She stopped for a moment, took off her shoe and gave it to him. She waited impatiently while he looked it over and then grabbed it back, put it on and kept walking. The two were greeted with high esteem but she was mainly greeted with queer comments and peculiar looks. Most assumed that they were a couple, but Nimue quickly contradicted their conjectures by saying "EWW NO," or "WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT," and giving a disgusted look. 


End file.
